So I went to the casino today

I had a fun day for sure. I came out with all my original money and 3 packs of cigarettes. I think I probably should consider quitting smoking and I almost did. I decided why do something for someone who would only thinks of himself. Why bother trying to please someone who is never going to be satisfied no matter what I do.

Some might argue that I should stop smoking for myself. I have heard about the health benefits of quitting. I have heard about all the money I could save. In short, I have heard about all the so called benefits to quitting. I just don't worry about it. I enjoy smoking and will continue to do so unless or until I have no other choice but to quit.

My father worked at the shipyard when I was small. He knew that he was loaded with asbestos. Almost all the men who worked at there were exposed. There is a good chance that everyone in the family was exposed to it when he came home from work with asbestos all over his clothes. I haven't been checked for it but it seems to me that it's almost a sure thing that I have some inside me also.

We lived near the ocean and everything was coated with creosote. The landscape timbers and telephone poles were covered with it. We swam in the water down the Fort Point River. Down stream from the ship yard, electric company and Proctor & Gamble. The jetty where we swam at high tide and dug clams at low tide was a raw sewage pipe.

We moved to the neighborhood where I spent 14 years when I was about 2 years old. I was the youngest of 4 children raised in that house. Three of us had cancer at the same time. Of the 3, I am the only one left standing. My father died in Sept. 1994. My brother died in Dec. 1994. My sister died in April 1996. I had cancer in 1995 and 1997. Back in the 1950s and 1960s there was no monitoring of what went in the water. No one seemed to care about things like that. No one cared that creosote was a known carcinogen. No one raised an alarm about the people working at the shipyard bringing asbestos home to their families.

Was this caused by asbestos? Was it caused by environment? Was it caused by what came down with the water of the Fore River? Was it in the air? Some nights all we could smell was soap. It depended on which way the wind blew. Other nights we could smell mud flats. It's hard to know for sure what the exact cause was but obviously something did. I can't believe that it was just bad luck on the family.

Every once in a while I think about my childhood friends. I wonder how they are doing. I have tried to find any information on them online but so far no luck. I can't go back to the area because I live completely across the country now. It would help if I could locate someone back there and ask them if they know how everyone is and if anyone else has health problems.