Fibromyalgia Crash

How fun it is to crash - NOT! I am so sore and tired I don't want to do anything yet I am not sleepy and doubt that I could sleep with the pain even if I wanted to. This is no way to live.

There have been a few people in my life that don't understand what I am going through. They act like they think I am imagining things. The act like I am just lazy and don't want to do anything. I have been accused of pretending to be having problems so I could get on disability. I wish that were true in a way. Believe me, I would rather work then feel like I do.

Someone implied that they thought that now I am getting disability that my symptoms would all of a sudden clear up. I am not sure if they thought it was a stress reaction or I was faking it. I didn't ask and don't really care. This is the same person who told me a few times that I would be OK if I would just get off my fat lazy ass. The same person who tried to get me to go for brisk walks no matter how many times I told them that doing that made matters worse.

I woke up this morning feeling like I have had better days and I have had worse days. After relaxing over a couple of cups of tea and goofing off on the computer. I had the patio door open for fresh air and the blinds open for sunlight. I decided to get some house work done. Probably not a good idea thinking back on it.

I have a small apartment and live alone so there really isn't much that needs to be done even on a bad house day. I washed a few dishes, picked up a few things and vacuumed the carpet. That was it. No big tasks or heavy work. It wasn't long before I knew it was nap time. I don't normally nap during the day but there was no way I was going to stay awake.

I went in and curled up in bed with my electric blanket turned on. It wasn't very long before I fell asleep. I honestly don't know what time I went to bed but it was after 6 p.m. when I woke up. The sad part is I was just as tired when I got up as when I went to bed. This is very normal for me. Sometimes I wake up more tired then what I was when I went to sleep - figure that one out!

It never even crossed my mind that I had missed my physical therapy appointment today. I knew it was Thursday and that is the day for my appointment but never connected the two thoughts. I guess it doesn't matter considering I was asleep anyway. I feel bad that I missed going but glad that I didn't go at the same time.

I think I am going to start a journal and see if I can draw some kind of parallel between what I eat, what I do and how I feel. If I start to see a pattern I will post it here.