Emotional Vampires - Narcissism

Emotional vampires are everywhere. Chances are good that you had at least one close encounter with one. The first thing I would recommend is finding out what an emotional vampire is. Second is to learn how to identify them quickly when you encounter one. Most important is getting the help you need to break away from them completely if you realize that you are in a relationship with one.

In the beginning they pretend to be your soul mate. They find out what makes you tick and they pretend to be something they are not in order to get deep into the heart of you. It's easy to get drawn in by their act. It's easy to become emotionally attracted to and attached to an emotional vampire. They are so charming and pretend to be warm and loving. Trust me, they are neither warm nor loving to anyone but themselves.

Once they have worked their way deeply into who you are their true nature starts to show. They have set their trap and caught you in it. Slowly but surely they become very demanding. Slowly they start to separate you from all the little things that make you who you are. They will go against themselves to be opposite you and then force you to accept their position on any and every issue. They slowly undermine your self confidence on every level until you become codependent on them. It will eventually come down to a their way or the highway situation on even the least important issue.

A prime example of an emotional vampire going opposite himself or herself are they will almost freeze to death before they let you turn the heat on if they know you are bothered by the cold. It matters not how uncomfortable they are as long as you are miserable.

Once a narcissist thinks he has you drawn in to them they slowly chip away at the things that make you who you are. They know the things that bring you any degree of happiness and try to separate you from them with their complaining, sulking and pouting. An example might be if they know you like to watch sports they will insist that they don't. Every time you try to watch a game they cause a fuss or pout becoming sullen and withdrawn. They complain every time you try to watch a game until watching is no longer worth all you have to go through to do so.

Another little game the narcissist will play is to ask you if you like this or that better. If you say this then they will say they like that better then force you to accept that. An example of that is they ask if you like beef ribs or pork ribs better. No matter which one you pick they are sure to say they like the other better.

If you say you have no real preference and it doesn't matter to you one way or another it frustrates them. They will ask you a few times over a period of time to try to get you to commit one way or the other. This will upset and frustrate them to the point that they will get angry because you won't play their game by their rules. An example might be if you really won't say that you like beef ribs better then you like pork ribs they could become so angry that they will go so far as to say they have become vegetarians at some point. They will be vegetarians when they are around you but when you are no where to be seen they will eat all the hamburgers they can fit in their stomach.

Next the instigating begins. When you live with someone you get to know their quirks. They know that if it bothers you to have dirty dishes on the side of the sink you can bet that is where every cup, glass, dish and piece of silverware will end up. Every time you go to the kitchen there will be a collection of dirty dishes waiting for you to say something about it. They will go out of their way to get in your way and do the things that annoy you.

A favorite trick of the narcissist is to think that what ever they do is OK. If you catch them at it then you are the one who is wrong. If you don't catch them they will rub your nose in what they were getting away with behind your back once they tire of it. Not because they feel guilty but you are not playing the game and finding out for yourself. They can have sex with whomever or whatever they want and expect you to stay monogamous.

The easy way to tell what a narcissist is doing is take note of what they accuse you or someone else of doing. That is the first hint you will get from them. If they accuse you of reading personal ads on line you can bet that they are doing just that. If they accuse you of cheating even though you have never given them a reason to think that way about you then you know what they are doing. If they accuse you of being high or taking drugs, well you get the idea.

If you become involved in a personal relationship with a narcissist it is very hard to end the relationship. They know how to play on your fears and insecurities. They are not above using emotional blackmail to coerce you into doing as they wish. Breaking away is never easy but absolutely necessary to you for your own mental health. If you can't get away on your own be sure to get all the help you can from professionals who are trained in this area of counseling.

In closing I will say THE EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE OR NARCISSIST WILL READ THIS AND SWEAR IT IS ALL ABOUT THEM PERSONALLY! They will take this as an attack on them and maybe even lash out because of it. Let them rant about you all they want. They have their story and you have the truth. The more they whine to their family and friends and insist that they were the one who was abused the more they will show themselves to fit the descriptions in this blog.

I recommend reading this page for 10 steps to freedom from a narcissist.