Long time no see old friend

I have to admit that my last post was a very long time ago. I had actually forgotten about this site until someone bitched at me today about not liking something I said here. A little late in the day for that in the first place. I don't really care if they like it or not in the second place. Just a little fuel for the fire at this point. Like what I say or not, no one is going to control what I say or do - especially not by long distance! Oh well, now that I am here I might as well start blogging again. It's been a strange couple of years to say the least. I have been through the ups and downs of life but try to take it all as it comes. I enjoy the good times and make it through the not so good times the best I can. My best isn't always working too good for me. I had a rough spell where I thought seriously about ending it all. I never want to get that depressed again under any circumstances. I will run not walk to the nearest doctor and do something about it even though I hate taking medicine. One thing is for sure, I won't go the way I went last time I was so down. That ended up working OK for about 11 months then the last month was right back to where it all ended before. I was hurt and angry beyond words. I, again, went through all the same things I went through all the other times before. Now it's at the part where it really hurts again. This is where the pain really sets in and the reality of the situation hits home. I don't want or expect anyone to cry for me. Please pray for me, though. While I am not feeling very strong right now I know that this will pass in time. My heart will heal. I will move on older but wiser. At any rate, I will be here more often now that life is settling into a peaceful routine. I have my moments when I am happy in spite of everything and it's those moments I am going to stay focused on and keep looking forward to until the sun breaks through to my heart again. For now I will just watch and wait for the rainbow.