Not yet sleepy

I am not yet sleepy even though it's almost 2 a.m. Some nights I go to bed only to toss and turn for hours. I think it's just a little too warm in my room for sleep tonight. Maybe I should open the window a little and get some fresh air in there.

I have been wondering how it's going to feel to actually go to court and get the divorce over and done with. I wonder if I am going to be relieved, sad or both. What I do know is this relationship has sucked all the life out of me I am willing to give it.

While there will be some sadness I know that this too shall pass. I will be the strong and independent person I was before. I will hold my head up and find my inner strength that has been hiding deep within me struggling to find it's way to the surface again.

I am doing things I like to do for the right reasons. I am thinking thoughts of the simple pleasures in life. I smile more often. Jokes are funny again. Over all life is getting good again. While there is yet clouds in the sky I can see the sun breaks that have been hiding for so long.

I want to thank God for always being there for me. Even when things were their darkest I knew that I was never alone. This has been a learning and growing experience for me. One that I will carry for the rest of my life in a positive way as I reach for the life that is in front of me.